(Domestic violence affects both men and women. We refer to the abuser as male only because statistically men are more often the main perpetrators of DV)
Help the abuser get help. Pray for him. But do not let the abuser off the hook by minimizing the gravity of what he has done. Make sure he understands that he must take ownership of his actions. He is 100% responsible for the violence he perpetrated. Nothing his wife or kids did, and nothing in the Scriptures, justifies his abusive behavior. Make sure he understands this and that his behavior is sinful. Violence is unacceptable. Never counsel the couple together. This can be dangerous for the abuse victim. Make sure the abuser understands that you intend to stand by his victim. You will pray for him and support him, but he must be willing to change his distorted belief system.